Children learn new things on a daily basis, some of which are not at all desirable, from their surrounding environment. As parents and educators it is our duty to see to it that students are exposed to different area of learning as well. However, the young minds sometimes cannot make the right judgment to decide on what language to use and what not to. As adults we can help them to make the right choice. In today’s world students use all sorts of curse words. Whether they’re uttered out of frustration, used to gain attention, present a “tough” image, or hurt another; certain words and phrases are inappropriate in the school setting. The situation requires intervention on our part. Most importantly, we must first make the student aware of the behavior and its inappropriateness especially in the classroom and school environment. Once awareness is developed, our attempts to change the behavior will be more effective.
On the part of the school, we would like to address the matter as well. We would be applying some of the methods mentioned below. We would like to share some techniques with you in order to combat such situations at home also.
1. Praise the child for any appropriate/good use of language
2. Use self-monitoring: Have the child rate his/her own behaviour.
3. Identify the reasons that bring about the undesired language. Try to eliminate that stimulus.
4. Teaching the child to “Stop, Think, Choose, Think Again” is a good option. In this method, the child stops before speaking, thinks about what he is about to say, chooses which words he wants to use, and then thinks about whether or not this choice was a good one.
5. Have a zero tolerance policy towards such language. Respond to inappropriate language with a simple, calm response. You may say, “Those aren't very nice words to say.” Or consistently give a one word response, like “Inappropriate”, or a one-word reminder, like “Language”.
6. Teach your child that words can hurt others as much as physical violence. Children by nature are caring and sympathetic beings. However, they sometimes need to be taught how to avoid destructive verbal violence.
7. Be consistent in how you respond to the undesired behavior. Once you choose a strategy to address the inappropriate speech, use that strategy each and every time the student exhibits the inappropriate behavior for at least one or two weeks before implementing a different strategy.
8. Give proximity praise. Ignore the child’s inappropriate language, and praise the children around him for using appropriate words. As one example: “I love how Ali is working quietly.”, or “Amina, thanks for using polite words during the disagreement.”
I believe if the school and parents work together hand in hand, we can deal with any situation and provide our children the right opportunities to build up the appropriate social skills.